


Amy's test of patience

by elenlith



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 17:01:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1395493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elenlith/pseuds/elenlith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terrible title for a fic inspired by a very cute prompt: Jake is a handsome criminal that Amy just busted!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amy's test of patience

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DeepBlueQL](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepBlueQL/gifts).



> Written for the Jake/Amy fic exchange on tumblr!
> 
> Deepblueql requested: 
> 
> 1) The Cheetah: Amy never worked at the 99. She works at Major Crimes and is the Vulture's partner. Jake kind of hates her, but thinks she's super hot (would love to see her still rebuff the Vulture's advances).  
> 2) The Handsome Bandit: Jake's a criminal that Amy just busted.  
> 3) The Bet AU: What if Holt hadn't made them go to that stakeout and the date went as Jake planned?
> 
> I chose number 2, I hope you like it!

“ _What the heck is that guy doing_?” Boyle asked, expression appalled.

Amy, looking straight at the perp in the interrogation room, shook her head. “I brought him in ten minutes ago. I caught him with a rucksack full of marijuana! And he’s obviously a complete idiot.” she answered, disgust written all over her face.

The object of her description was a man in his 30s who was currently doing unspeakable things with the table. And all the while he was making stupid faces at the mirror. Like he knew Amy was there.

“He’s quite handsome though, you know. He gives off a certain vibe. Like, ‘ _the prospect of being thrown in jail doesn’t bother me even though I’m pretty_ ’, you know what I mean?” Gina observed, with a distinctly aroused drawl.

Boyle jumped, a hand on his heart. “And when did you come in?”

“I apparated in here. You know, the precinct isn’t Hogwarts. Sadly.” she said. “And I wanted to look at him. I haven’t seen anything pretty all day, if you exclude my own reflection, but the captain took my mirror away. He said it distracted me from work, which is true but I don’t see where the problem is. Anyway, this one’s not bad to look at.”

“Yes, whatever” Amy said, rolling her eyes. “I’m going in to question him. He had an accomplice, and I need his name.”

“Go Amy!” Boyle hollered, going for a high five right when she walked out the door.

Gina snorted. “Perfect timing, Charles.”

 

*

 

“Detectiiiiiiive!” the man exclaimed as soon as Amy opened the door of the interrogation room.

She shot him a glare.

“Come ooooon, tell me your name! I mean, it _was_ fun asking you every five seconds during the ride to the precinct, but you were so uncooperative! Now I’m thinking I could make your name up. Can I call you detective _Hot Detective_? What do you think? Or, _or_ , I could call you detective _I’m so serious I never laugh and my looks can kill_. Eh? Awesome right?” He smiled a big, toothy grin.

_Count to ten, Amy. Count to ten. Deep breaths. Cops can’t choke perps to death in the interrogation room. Too many cameras._

“So,” she began, completely ignoring his previous monologue. “ _William Scarlet_. Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t your real name?”

He leaned back, getting comfortable in his chair. “It’s a perfectly solid name.”

“Yeah, right. Reminds me a bit too much of a group of merry outlaws, but whatever, don’t tell me. I’ll find out your identity soon enough. What I really want to know,” she said, leaning towards him, “is the name of the guy you were talking to right before I arrested you.”

Amy was looking at his face very closely. She noticed his eyes widen almost imperceptibly when she mentioned his accomplice. Triumphantly, she circled the table and sat on it right before him.

“Tell me! I want his name, and I won’t let you out of here until I have it, got it?” Amy’s breathing was short, excited. As soon as she got that name she could go to Captain Holt and get his clearance to expand the investigation, maybe get some help from Rosa and the Sarge, solve this intricate and burdensome case, get praise and admiration…

“Wow, you’re really intense, did you know that?” the perp said, in wonder. His full lips formed a perfect “o”, his long lashes framed deep, scrutinizing eyes.

 _Whoa_. Amy shook her head, trying to clear it. _What was that?_

“The name. Now.” she demanded, her tone cold again.

The man raised his arms and placed his hands on the back of his neck. “I’m afraid I have no idea who you are referring to, detective Hot Detective.” he grinned brazenly.

Amy’s lips formed a very thin line. “Play cheeky all you want, you’re not getting out of here until you tell me. _I-need-that-name_.”

“Why?” he asked, eyes sharp and focused on her.

Amy felt rather uncomfortable and had to make an effort not to squirm.

“I don’t answer to you. You answer to me.”

“I’m curious. Humor me.”

“I’m not going to be nice to a man who sells marijuana!”

“Oh, come on! Maybe all that pot wasn’t even mine. Maybe I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.” His expression was so falsely innocent Amy almost bit the inside of her cheek to avoid smiling. Almost. “Or, well. It could have been the right time, since I met you” he added with a wink.

 _What the hell?_ Amy was speechless. She desperately hoped her cheeks didn’t redden. “Are you _flirting_ with me?”

“Maybe. Come oooon, tell me why that name it’s so important to you. Ex boyfriend turned bad?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Excuse me, are you the detective in this room? I don’t think so. Tell me the name. Do I need to remind you that if you help us, we’ll help you back?”

The perp sighed. “You’re no fun at all, detective Hot Detective. Aaaanyway, it was nice talking to you, but I’d like to speak to your Captain now.”

“What??”

“You heard me” he said, perfectly at ease.

Amy felt the rage rise up inside her. _WHAT THE HELL? He’s a drug dealer and he makes demands??_

“How… how on earth do you dare making a request such as this?”

“Aw, don’t be offended. I just have some information that only your Captain can hear. Come on, call him please.”

“I… you…” Amy’s mouth moved but no sounds came out of it. Furious and disbelieving, she marched out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

 

*

 

“Unbelievable. _Un-be-lie-va-ble._ Captain, please don’t go in there. Don’t encourage that…that… _idiot_!” Amy said, walking to and fro in Holt’s office. “He’s insufferable and narcissistic, he wants to talk to you just to puff up his already huge ego! That….idiot!” Amy was fuming, gesticulating wildly in front of the Captain.

He regarded her with his usual impassive face. “He probably _is_ an idiot, Santiago, but maybe he has a reason to make such a strange request. I’ll go talk to him. I assure you, if he hasn’t got anything useful, he’ll suffer the consequences of wasting our time.”

Amy nodded in defeat. He trusted her Captain completely.

She followed him towards the interrogation room, slipping inside the room behind the mirror. _That jerk is making stupid faces again! I’m so going to shoot him._

The Captain took a seat in front of the guy, who glanced straight at her, winked – _how does he know?_ – and said: “Is detective Hot Detective behind the mirror?”

Captain Holt raised an eyebrow. “If you’re referring to detective Amy Santiago, yes, she’s watching.”

"Oh, so _that_ ’s her name! Amy Santiago…” he said it in a way that made Amy’s heart race. _He practically purred!_

“I need her gone. I can only talk to you.” he smirked.

“WHAT???” Amy covered her mouth with a hand. Too late. She was sure both the Captain and the idiot had heard her shouting.

Captain Holt sighed. “I really hope that your information is worth all of this. Santiago!” he called. “Go wait for me in my office, please!”

Amy wanted to barge in and slap the stupid douche hard enough to leave a mark across his face, but she held back, and obeyed the Captain. The last thing she heard before going out was the idiot asking “How do you know she’s really gone?” and the Captain replying “Because detective Santiago always does her duty.”

 

*

 

Amy was brutally interrupted in her thorough examination of the contents of Captain Holt’s pencil case by a breathless Charles Boyle, who burst into the office panting “Amy… you gotta… you gotta see this…” and promptly collapsing on the sofa.

“What’s happening Boyle? Are you alright?”

“Yes yes, I’m fine… go outside, go look!”

Puzzled, Amy peeked out the door, and her jaw almost fell off.

There he was, the stupid idiot, strutting along the corridor, behaving like he belonged to a police station, and he wasn’t even handcuffed!

She shot out from the office and marched towards him, determined to knock him down and handcuff him again, when the Sarge appeared out of nowhere and blocked her way.

“Sarge, let me through, that’s a perp, that’s…that’s a _drug dealer_ , I arrested him earlier, how the hell is he free to walk in here? Oh my god, is Captain Holt alright? He hasn’t hurt him, has he?”

“Calm down Santiago. Go back to the Captain’s office, he’ll be with you in a moment.”

“But…”

“No buts, do as I say. Trust me. Go.”

Amy turned around and walked back to the office. She sat on the chair and took some deep breaths, eyes closed. To think that day had started off so well! She had captured a drug dealer who could tell her the name of the man she’d been chasing for months, and then… then that cheeky, stupid, rude – _handsome_ , her traitorous mind added – _idiot drug dealer_ had ruined everything!

“Hello Amy Santiago” a deep voice suddenly whispered in her ear.

Amy, who still hadn’t opened her eyes, flinched in fright.

“Whoa, jumpy, are we?”

_I can’t believe it._

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m here because you arrested me, remember?”

_Tell me this is a joke._

“Um, Captain Holt? I fear she might be having a stroke or something…”

“Santiago? Are you alright?” the Captain asked while sitting at his desk.

_Count to ten, Amy. Count to ten… one… two… three…_

“Ok, I get that I’m incredibly handsome and women tend to remain speechless around me but I’m going to call an amb– ”

“CAPTAIN!!!” Amy exploded. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???”

Amy’s fury was so deep and serious it was almost comical, so much that Captain Holt felt the corner of his mouth go up in a half smile.

“Take a seat and calm down, Santiago. I’m going to explain everything.”

Amy stared at her Captain’s face, serene and relaxed (or so she thought), and then at the idiot guy, who, she noticed with pride, looked quite scared; she sighed and sat down, waiting.

“This man’s real name is Jake Peralta, and he’s a detective from the 95th. He’s been undercover to investigate a drug trade, and he’s been trying to get close to the same man you are after.”

Amy widened her eyes. “Him? A detective? _Him_? Seriously?” she asked, disbelievingly. She looked at him; he smirked, and her gaze moved involuntarily to his lips. _So plump. I’d like to bite them_. Then his smirk widened and Amy shook her head in shame, cheeks flaming.

“I’m not just a detective, Santiago, I’m an _amazing_ detective and you almost ruined my investigation.” he said.

“ _I_ ruined _your_ investigation? I wasted a whole day because of you!” she replied, seething. _God, he’s hot but I hate his guts._

“Your fault. I was doing just fine until you came and busted me.”

“You were there with a rucksack full of pot, what was I supposed to do?”

“Detectives…” Captain Holt said.

“You should have listened to me, I was trying to tell you the truth but you just threw me on the ground – which was reaaaally sexy by the way, but also unnecessary– ”

“ _Stop flirting_ , for god’s sake! You’re insufferable, no wonder they sent you undercover– ”

“DETECTIVES!” the Captain roared. They both fell silent instantly, looking guilty.

“I’m really sorry Captain, just let this… detective Peralta go back to his precinct and we’ll all go back to normal.”

“Finally something we agree on, detective Hot Detective – can I still call you Hot Detective? I know you like it.” he winked at her and Amy almost choked.

“I have a better idea.” Captain Holt said. “I already spoke to Captain Williams, and she agrees with me. Santiago and Peralta, you’re going to be partners in this investigation; you’ll cooperate to successfully catch all the dealers involved. Peralta will work here with us, and during his stay he can take the desk in front of yours, Amy. I know you’ll make me and Captain Williams proud.”

When he finished talking, Captain Holt had to actually make an effort not to smile: both Jake’s and Amy’s expressions were priceless. They went from shock to irritation to indignation to resignation. Then they glanced at each other and promptly looked away. The Captain rolled his eyes. _And we’re back in high school._

 

_*_

 

Amy sighed, looking at her reflection in the mirror. It wasn’t time to go home yet, but she felt tired and dreamed of her bed.

She leaned against the sink. Captain Holt had set her up good. He had set both of them up. Jake (it still felt so strange thinking about him as a cop!), despite all of his flirting, hadn’t been thrilled at the prospect of working with her. He had spent ten minutes on the phone talking to Captain Williams, trying to change her mind, but then he had hung up, defeated. His colleagues had emailed him all of the files and documents related to the case, but he hadn’t said a word to her. He had stubbornly occupied his temporary desk and buried his nose in paperwork.

_Cooperation, right. I’m stuck with a manchild who refuses to share his notes!_

The door of the bathroom opened, and Amy straightened up.

“Hey Amy.”

_No way._

“This is the ladies’ room. Are you a lady?” she asked, rolling her eyes.

Jake smiled. “Well, I am prettier than many women.”

She scoffed and crossed her arms. “What do you want, Peralta?”

“I… actually came here to apologize. I was so determined to catch those dealers on my own I didn’t want any help. But, after a bit of reflection, I thought, hey, let’s make the most of it. I like this precinct. Boyle already worships me – easy, my cop stories are awesome – , the Sarge is both adorable and terrifying and I’ll keep respectfully away from Rosa. And then, well, I get to work with you.”

He paused, and Amy’s heart started to beat a little faster.

He took a step towards her.

“I would like,” he said, looking at her intensely, “you know, when this is over,” he took another step forwards, “to go on a date with you, detective Hot Detective.”

His face was inches from Amy’s, who was vaguely aware of being trapped between him and the sink. Her stomach fluttering pleasantly, she smiled: “Only if you agree that I’m in charge of the investigation.”

She was so close to him she could feel the warmth of his skin.

He looked almost dazed for a moment, but then his mouth stretched into a wide grin. “I happen to be a very good secondary.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cops and Robbers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2044077) by [disastersaurus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/disastersaurus/pseuds/disastersaurus)




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